The difference between sinners and the forgiven? Not in virtue, but in attitude. “They sin openly like the people of Sodom. They are not one bit ashamed.” [Isaiah 3:9] That is what ‘confession’ is all about; recognizing where you have gone wrong, and admitting that it is wrong and a dirty part of you. When you do, the shame will come naturally, for deep inside we all want to be good. It is again a matter of pride; do we think that we are good enough already?
A friend who betrays you and is unaffected or self-righteous, versus one who is filled with remorse and shame. Which would you forgive? Which would you be?