Wanting something so much that it hurts is probably a sign of enslavement.
““All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be enslaved by anything.” 1 Corinthians 6:12
“Formerly, when you did not know God, you were enslaved to those that by nature are not gods.” Galatians 4:8
“For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1