First, I must say that it’s oddly difficult for me to blog this summer. I have not written anything really, and there may not be much else, I don’t know. I think it’s because I still have to write a certain update letter. This task is lodged in between me and the freedom to write other things. I have actually finished writing it, but have not had it read by someone else yet, so it’s not quite sent and done. Also, I wrote a whole lot of stuff while I was away from my computer and want to post it, but the moment of me really ‘feeling’ what I was writing is past. So all that stuff that was once so golden to me processing is now… also lodged. To blog or not to blog? In any case, the final reason is probably that I’m struggling with my self-will. I can tell. Some sort of (temporary?) impasse is in my heart. At such times it is very difficult to write persuasively or with any sort of dedication because you are fluttering between stances (立場). I could try and write about other things, but that would evade the point of this blog, which is to process spiritually and intellectually. If not for what’s happening in the heart as you read and write words, they are empty. Mere squiggles. The most beautiful poetry is but cardboard to me if it does not move me inside. (Ahh I see that I have come to claim my stance on literature alongside the likes of Sir Philip Sidney? Roethke?)
Anyways, the following is something I found back around March when I was thinking about life direction.
From Stepcase Lifehack (http://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/how-to-create-self-help-momentum.html)
How to Create Self Help Momentum
a.k.a. practical steps in non-spiritual lingo for the person in relation to following Christ / finding your calling
For some reason this completely unspiritual guide to ‘self-help’ actually provides some key insight to spiritual growth in faith. This is when you’ve reached the place where God has revealed all he really has to reveal and it’s up to us to take a step of faith, trusting and relying on the Holy Spirit. This is not the guide to follow step by step, but parts of it are put so succintly and in such different language from normal Christian reference literature that it serves to jolt thinking a bit. If you’re serious about reading this I’d recommend skimming the original from the link above – just the 5 points – in addition to reading my ‘Christianese’ rendition below.
Take that first step and keep stepping.
Love = obedience. We don’t understand what it is to love God if we do not put energy into obeying him. Jesus was obedient to death. 9 As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. 10 If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. 11 These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full. 12 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command you. 15 No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.(John 15:9-15) Certain things have prerequisites; I feel that following God is one of those things that you don’t know is ‘a right fit’ until you have walked the path. Have you ever thought, after trusting God for something no matter how small:
“I wish I had done this years ago!”
“I don’t know what I was so afraid of.”
Consider the cost of not changing.
This was the one part I liked about this point:
“Change is rarely about the right time and [is] usually about the right attitude, choices and behaviours.
Sometimes picturing what we don’t want is enough to get us moving in the right direction.”
The Cost of Following Jesus (Luke 9)
57 As they were going along the road, someone said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” 58 And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” 59 To another he said, “Follow me.” But he said, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.” 60 And Jesus  said to him, “Leave the dead to bury their own dead. But as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” 61 Yet another said, “I will follow you, Lord, but let me first say farewell to those at my home.” 62 Jesus said to him, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.”
Gain some clarity and certainty.
Say “no” to a “repetitive existence of habit.” Say no to the law of sin.
Stop being so ‘busy’, and listen to the “still small voice.” [The Spirit, who gives us the mind of Christ]
When we find this clarity, “it scares the crap out of us.” Think of Peter walking on water, of Jesus saying “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men,” of Abram told to “Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you,” of Moses told to go to Pharoah, of the voice speaking “Samuel!” or of the Lord’s words to Jeremiah:
5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
and before you were born I consecrated you;
I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”
6 Then I said, “Ah, Lord God! Behold, I do not know how to speak, for I am only a youth.” 7 But the Lord said to me,
“Do not say, ‘I am only a youth’;
for to all to whom I send you, you shall go,
and whatever I command you, you shall speak.
8 Do not be afraid of them,
for I am with you to deliver you,
declares the Lord.”
What do you want and not want for your life?
Get excited. Excitement creates momentum.
I have nothing to add to this point. Only again to highlight one bit:
“If you’re not excited about your goals, you may need different ones.”
Not some time in the future, as you approach Damascus and suddenly a light from heaven flashes around you, but the next five minutes. And this is the hardest hardest part. This part engenders the most feelings of failure.
But I’d say don’t worry about it. If God has a hold of you, he has a hold of you. In short time or long, he will reel you in, herd you back.
What an eyesore of a blog post. I’d best publish it right now.